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What can I say about where I am in life? It should be a happy time. I have a wonderful home, the bills are paid. I have a kind wife that I care about very much. I am the envy of my friends. I have no right to long for more. And yet I do. During the days, I am busy at work keeping the gears turning. But at night, when it is quiet and dark and I am alone with my thoughts, I find myself filled, not with contentment, but with a dull ache. An emptiness that can be overwhelming. I have never been a very matierialistic man. What has alway meant more to me is intimacy. Affection. The tiny precious moments that touch you at your core. Moments born of admiration, respect, lust, romance, and so many intangable connections that turn the ordinary into magic. That lift us up above the ordinary, if only for a brief whisper of time. I have been with my wife for over 15 years. And no matter how hard I have tried, those moments are gone between us. Buried by years of petty disagreements, power stuggles, day to day toil, and familiarity. Apathy. My heart is constanly being drained by the nuts and bolts of every day, and there is nothing charging it, filling it anymore. To long to see someone. Have your heart race at the mere thought of them. To walk around with sweet butterflies. To wear a goofy smile all day long, swimming in the lingering glow of someone, and the anticipation of just hearing thier voice, seeing thier smile. That is what I long for. Something kindhearted. Something gentle. Something built on genuine affection and intimacy. Something passionate. I am throwing this out into the world in hopes it will find someone like me. Someone who understands that dull ache, and has finally decided that life is too short to live without what our hearts long for. The most important things in life. Someone married who does not want to change thier situation. Someone smart, stable and discreet. Someone who is looking for ONE long term lover. A lover in every sense of th
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